Posting from under the car

This picture is a disturbing reenactment of an actual incident.  Viewer discretion is advised.

This picture is a disturbing reenactment of an actual incident. Viewer discretion is advised.

So here I am under the bumper. It all started just a few minutes ago…

[Picture goes wavy/eerie music]

I’m here at the clinic with the autistic kid for a 3 pm doctor appointment, which is crammed into the last week of the year because he doesn’t have a physical on file with his day program.

Only, everybody in town is cramming stuff into this week, so the doctor is running late. An hour late. Now it’s 4 pm in the waiting room.

Lo and behold, the kid’s remained calm for the hour. He chit chatted with me about movie lines that make him laugh. He probably did better with the hour than I.

Physical went fine. Doctor remarked on how calm and composed the kid was compared to previous visits.

Out into the frigid air. Get the kid in the car and turn it on to get the heater running. But the extra hour means snow and – worse – some ice is coating the windshields, so I need to scrape.

Which I commence to do. Which I commence to do with a scowl. Which I commence to do as if there’s an emergency underway. And in rushing from one end of the car to the other I don’t see the ice-coated parking bump under the snow and…

[Picture goes wavy/eerie music]

Same warning as in the first pic.

Same warning as in the first pic.


So here I am under the bumper.

One of the stinky things about care giving (even in winter when stuff freezes before it can stink) is the way chores and errands and irritations pile up. We have our bad days, when even if the circumstances are going well (or at least better than expected), we fall down and go boom. Because we’ve put out so much energy staying calm in the face of crazy situations that we are just empty. We’ve deferred so much self care that we go off emotionally over little things.

Some years ago some friends and I had a code that we borrowed from Bible study. If one of us said, “It’s a Psalm 37 day,” we knew that his temper was being pushed into the red zone, and made it a point to let him vent and calm down. Because Psalm 37 says,

Refrain from anger, leave rage alone; do not fret yourself; it leads only to evil.

Maybe I should tape that to my axle for next time.

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